Fathers

Obviously, I have been thinking a lot lately about my Dad.  My father is one of the greatest men I have ever met.  He is a great Dad.  Always there to lend a hand or help if we ever need anything.  Strong. Very strong. And funny! Always a smile and a joke. More profoundly to me of late, I am acutely aware that he is the other half of My Parents.  Always together, supporting each other when they support us.

Today, I went over to my parents to have breakfast.  I made pancakes for he, Mom, Maddie and myself.  It was really nice.  Then we went for a walk.  As we walked, I realized that we all slow our pace in order for Dad to keep up.  And talk about things of no consequence.  For my Dad.

My husband is a great father.  He is fiercely protective.  And stubborn.  And sometimes I feel like an outsider when he and Maddie gang up on me.  But that's a Dad and his Daughter for you.  I hope I never made my Mom feel that way.  If I did, I'm sorry.  I wish that Brittany wasn't missing out on her Dad.  Maybe she's okay with it.  But she will never be able to get back the time that she is losing.  And that devastates me.  And I miss her more than she could possibly ever know.

My brothers are pretty remarkable fathers, too.  I guess that they had a really great example.  I always knew Bob would be, though.  He was always the one that was "in charge".  He was pretty good at it, too.  But Tony surprised me.  And continues to do so.  Every time I see him with those beautiful babies.  It amazes me. 

Right now, I am listening to Jeff tuck Maddie in.  He always covers her up with the 7 blankets she keeps in her bed when she sleeps.  Then when she falls asleep she sweats like crazy and kicks the blankets off.  But he doesn't want her to be cold.  So he does it again before we go to bed.  And in the wee hours of the morning when he gets up to go to work he'll do it again. 

I guess great Fathers are always there to cover you up so you're never cold.

When I said I wanted to start blogging...

this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.  Most of you who know me well know by now that the last month or so has been pretty rough for my family.  On September 17, 2010 my father was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  In the weeks following he has undergone brain surgery to remove as much of the tumor as possible and begun chemotherapy and radiation treatments to shrink the cancer.

Perhaps I should have been more specific in my desire for blogging.  Soon after diagnosis, I began journaling through a website recommended by Georgetown University Medical Center called CaringBridge.org. The website has been a fantastic way for our family to relay information about my Dad's treatment and condition to everyone without having to make lots of phone calls or send emails.  I have found it helpful to me in a personal way, but at the same time difficult to keep my own emotional state at that particular time from influencing the tone of the posting. I have tried very hard to keep a positive note to all the posts on that site.

CaringBridge Website for Dad

Enough time has passed that I feel like I can begin blogging my own personal journey on this site.  I know that it will uncomfortable for some people to read my take on things, but my only suggestion for that is not to read it!  Contrary to the CaringBridge site, I plan on letting loose whatever emotion is prevailing at the time of post, so I would recommend caution when reading, it will probably be a very bumpy ride.

On another personal note, my heart is aching for the Bennett family, especially my very good friend, Dawn.  On Saturday, Mrs. Bennett passed away.  She was my neighbor growing up.  But I am especially heartbroken because Nana took care of Maddie (along with my Mom) when she was an infant and I went back to work.  She watched her several mornings a week until she went to preschool at age 3. Nana was there to kiss boo boos, encourage first words and steps, introduce new foods, and give lots of hugs and love to Maddie when I couldn't be there.  I will be forever grateful to her for that. I can't express in words what that meant to me. Those of you with children who find themselves going back to work know how valuable it is to know that they are well taken care of when you can't be there.  My deepest and most heartfelt condolences go out to their family.

Mrs. Helen Bennett "Nana"