Lost Lamb

I have been a lost lamb without a flock for a long time now.  I have not stepped into a church for the sole purpose of worship in a very, very long time.  A fact that I have thought about a lot recently.  More specifically, I have thought about with massive amounts if guilt lately.  It comes with the territory of a Catholic upbringing.  Worse yet, I have failed in my promise to raise Maddie in the way of the Catholic Church.  Yikes! One way ticket in that handbasket to Hell, please...

I have told myself that I am a spiritual person and that the Lord does not require regular attendance in church as a demonstration of faith.  I have spent many Sundays of my childhood and teenage years kneeling and standing and repeating and gesturing.  As an adult, I look back I feel like most of what I took away from those masses was a learned routine not religion.  I feel like it was more of a seen and be seen event than worship.

My mother took us to CCD followed by mass every Sunday, but my Dad only went on Easter and Christmas Eve.  Of the Seven Sacraments I have five under my belt, and hopefully it will be a long time before I hit six and seven.  Of the Seven, Maddie has only one.  The one where I promised to raise her in the Catholic faith.  Hmmm, failed that one.  Bad Catholic Mommy.

I find this heavy on my mind because in the very recent past, I have been the recipient of some nudging.  If a higher power has a subtle way of sending signs, I think I'm gettin' 'em. For example, I took Mac and her friend Hailey to a town youth group function couple weekends ago and I found myself standing next to a tall, friendly, older man.  We chit chatted while the kids threw food and he introduced himself as Pastor Bob.  Interesting... Pastor Bob of where?  Well, he has two churches, one down Road X, with an older congregation, and one down Road Y with a much younger congregation.  No, no one with children Maddie's age, and no children's service.  Hmmm, interesting.  Earlier that morning, I overheard Maddie in her room become frustrated with something and say "Jesus Christ!".  Oh boy, she heard it from me over that one.  I would rather have heard her spew the "F" word than that.  Then, tonight, I announced that I was thinking about going to church.  I got out my Bible to show Maddie and inside the front cover, I found Maddie's Baptism certificate.  Not an hour later, my brother Bob, who is Maddie's Godfather, posts a picture of he and Maddie that very day.  Of all the pictures, why that one, from 9 years ago.  Okay, okay, I GET IT already!

My motivation to find a church is to give the gift of faith to Maddie.  I have found it a intimidating task and have no idea where to even start.  How on earth do you cover all that ground?  I don't have answers to the questions that she will inevitably ask.  Once, approaching Easter, she asked my Mom what was so "good" about Good Friday.  I got an earful about that, but I just didn't even know where to start.

I find the 2 nearest Catholic Parishes to us unappealing.  They are just so large! It prompts flashbacks to the Sunday Fashion Shows of my youth.  But how do you choose what church is right?  I don't know, but I plan on figuring this out and having a flock to belong to again.

Thankful: Part 3

Things That are Awesome (in no particular order):

• Family to celebrate with
• Friends to goof around with
• A warm bed to sleep in
• Nourishing food in bellies
• The smell of babies' necks
• Snoring doggies
• Unconditional love
• McDonald's french fries when they are hot with just the right amount of salt
• Hot showers when your tired
• Fuzzy socks
• Baking brownies
• A job that you love
• Emails or texts from people that make you smile
• Finding money in your winter jacket from last winter
• Chapstick
• Hearing "I love you"
• When a song you love but haven't heard in forever comes on the radio
• Ghostbusters 
• Finding out someone else did laundry
• Taco Bell caramel apple empanadas
• Check ups with no cavities
• Warm sweatshirts from the dryer
• The Pittsburgh Steelers
• Spring mornings
• Summer days
• Fall evenings
• Winter nights
• Coffee
• Good books
• Back rubs
• Cherry Jolly Ranchers
• Soft pajamas
• The chance to spend this day with my Family

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thankful: Part 2

Alrighty people.  It's Thanksgiving Eve.  I find myself teetering on the precipice of The Holidays.  I am sooooo NOT ready for the hustle, bustle and crap that comes along with this season.  Not that I don't enjoy some aspects of this time of year.  I like making cookies.  I like the music.  I like the traditions.  And I love, love, love spending time with  my Family and Friends.  Which brings me to Part 2 of "Things I am Thankful For" - My Friends.

My Friends- A Poem

Some friends I have had forever and a day

Some friends are ones I have made along the way

Some friends are ones I rarely get to see

But every one of you means so much to me.

When we get together, we spill our guts

And usually eat while griping about our butts

We've talked, laughed, hugged and wept

Always knowing confidences are kept.

I feel so blessed and thankful today

The right words I can not always say

So know, friends, that until I've perished

Each of you will forever be cherished.

I would have written more, but Hallmark was calling begging me to begin my new career in card writing.  I hope that you all enjoyed my tribute and I would ask that you refrain from nominating me as poet laureate.  I've got enough crap to do to get ready for the holidays. 

Love you, Ladies- you know who you are ;o)

Thankful: Part One

As Thanksgiving approaches, there is no shortage of reminders out there about how thankful I should be.  Hmmm, that didn't exactly come out right, but I'm too lazy to backspace and start it over.  However, I am thankful.  I just wish that I didn't need to be reminded about it.  It makes me feel guilty that I have taken so much for granted during every other time of year.

So, without further ado, I submit to you the first in a series of "Things I am Thankful For".  Today, I am thankful for *drum roll please*  My Family.  My family is pretty awesome.  The one I grew up with and the one I made for myself.  Let me tell you a little something about them!


My Parents
My Mom and Dad have been married for 42 years and they more in love today than they were back then.  Their marriage has been a shining example for us to follow.  I used to be weirded out by them being together when I was in middle school and most of my friends' parents were divorcing. ("Is that your parents holding hands walking down the mall?!" "Who? Where? I don't see them... Let's go this way...") I always felt a little like I was a generation behind everyone else in the ideals, standards and morals my parents instilled in us- it felt old fashioned.  Today, as I raise my own family, I am thankful for all that they have done.

My Brothers
Bob- The oldest. The wise.  The One in Charge.  The Rockstar.  Bob is 5 years older than me.  He is savvy, smart and I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of his sharp, but fair, anger.  When I was in high school he let me drive his cars to school when mine broke down, which was frequently.  My cat had a litter of kittens on his bed and he never even complained, even though he didn't really like cats.  I adore and idolize him.  He married his high school sweetheart, Kyra, and then she became Family.  When she asked me to be in the wedding, I was beyond honored.  Kyra is sweet, funny and quiet. But when it counts, she speaks up.  When in high school, the joke was that Kyra could burn water, but she is actually one of the best cooks I know.  She always make a TON of really great food for family gatherings and that's my kind of gal!  She is a phenomenal Mother.  I am envious of her patience.  Together, Bob and Kyra gave us Nicholas, blue eyed, handsome and full of energy.  I once was asked to participate in a karate belt ceremony for him and I was very proud to do so.  He charms the pants off me every time I see him and I predict lots of wonderful things in his future!

Tony- The middle child.  Independent. Artistic.  Pineapple-ly (prickly on the outside, but sweet on the inside).  Tony has held me down and tickled me until I peed myself.  He has dislocated my arm.  He has passed me in the hallway and punched me for no apparent reason.  In fairness, there probably was a reason, but it could not possibly have been something I did.  I do not hesitate for one second to say that I would lay my life down for him.  Once, he set a bomb off in our basement and managed to keep it a secret from my parents for 20 years.  He is quietly brilliant and the most like my Father out of the three of us.  He married Paula, and she became Family.  Paula is strong, thoughtful and practical.  She changed Tony into a better man and even after all these years, we still remark on it.  Paula has been through much adversity and I admire her tenacity and fight.  Together, Tony and Paula have given us Broc and Garret.  Handsome boys who are growing faster than any of us can keep up with, and able to bring smiles to everyone the meet.  Two different boys who have so much to look forward to and who are loved by so many!


My Husband
Jeffrey.  Proud.  Hard working.  Tough.  Handsome.  Stubborn.  I met Jeff playing in a dart league at Kozy Korner in Mt. Airy.  He has a great butt.  Back in "the day" when guys wore pants that you could actually SEE their butts in, he had a really, really great butt.  We have been through a lot together.  And it has not always been easy, but once we remembered love, it always seemed to work out.  He had a family life and childhood that was the polar opposite of mine.  But somehow he has overcome that and has become a loving, supportive husband and father.  He gets up, most times 7 days a week, in the wee hours of the morning to go to work to support us.  And he always comes home (that's for you babe).  During our wedding ceremony, I was crying and had a nice snot stream from my nose to my upper lip.  When it came time to "kiss the bride", I warned him, but he came in full force regardless.  I love that man.  Marrying Jeff gave me Brittany.  I cannot tell you about her right now because it is so painful at this precise moment that it may cause my chest to split open, and I don't feel like cleaning up that mess.

My Daughter
Madalyn. Mac. Stinky Pants.  Smarty Pants.  Sarcastic.  Skinny.  Tall.  Brown Eyed.  A never ending source of pride.  Maddie is named after my Mom.  We didn't tell anyone what her name was going to be until after she was born, even though we knew almost as soon as we knew we were going to have a girl.  Maddie is like a sponge, soaking up knowledge and information from any possible source.  She forgets almost nothing.  She plays the string bass in the 5th grade orchestra.  Tiny kid, huge instrument.  But that's Maddie.  Never does what is expected and always finds a way to make it seem like it is the most natural thing in the world.  She has beautiful huge brown eyes that captured my heart the minute I saw them the day she was born.  Mac is already making college plans, but we told her she can go to McDaniel and commute.  When it comes time for her to leave home, you will find me curled up in the fetal position in my closet.  But it won't be for a while, since she will be a commuter to McDaniel and be going to school for a long, long time.  However long it takes to get 7 masters and a Ph.D.

Oh Yes.  I am Thankful.

I am quite Thankful, indeed.

It's Friday and I am Thankful

I am thankful that Bellisimos now delivers to my tiny little town.  Because its Friday, and I really, really don't feel like cooking on Fridays.  Fridays are for winding down from a long week at work and preparing for Saturday and Sunday, not cooking.  Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of Fridays that I come home and cook, but lately I find myself avoiding it if I can.

In addition to not wanting to cook, I DEFINITELY do not want to have to leave my house once I get home on Fridays.  Well, any night of the week, for that matter.  Once I am home, home is where I wish to remain, thank you very much.  Preferably in pajamas.  Which is where I find myself on this rockin' Friday night.  But I digress...

My little town has one pizza place and a little home style restaurant.  Having lived here for a number of years, it is safe to assume that we have patronized these establishments.  Regularly.  Neither place delivers. It has gotten to the point when faced with the prospect of ordering from either place the general consensus is, "eh". We have one Chinese place that delivers out here from a neighboring town, but the food is mediocre at best.  But they deliver, so that makes it the most delicious Chinese food ever made.  But you're not always in the mood for Chinese.

A couple months ago some signs cropped up coming into my little town advertising that a different place delivers out here now.  Whhhhhhaaatttt?!  Of course we had to try them out.  It was good.  Really good.  Reasonably priced.  And they have a wonderful variety to choose from.  BONUS!

For me it's the little things.  Like a place that delivers AND actually has good food.  Like being in pjs at 3:30 in the afternoon.  Today, I am thankful for all of the above.

I hope the delivery guy won't judge me by my pjs... just in case, I better give him an extra big tip. ;o)

Dear Brittany,

I miss you.
I think about you a million  trillion gazillion times a day.
I hope you are leading a fulfilling, productive life and are happy.
I love you.
I will always love you.

On Marriage and The Deal

Today is my parents' 42nd wedding anniversary.  For their anniversary, they went together to Georgetown for Dad's radiation treatment.  Whoa, back it down there, Mr. and Mrs. Fancy Pants!  You're making the regular cards and flowers crowd look bad. :)   But seriously, folks.  I don't really think that it matters that much to them if they get to go out to a fancy dinner. They are together and I think that is truly enough for them.

It makes me reflect on my own marriage.  I think that Jeff and I have a good marriage.  We laugh a lot.  But it takes work.  Lord, almighty, its hard work.  I am certainly not trying to hand out marriage advice here.  What works for some couldn't possibly work for others. 

In our house, nighttime brings a battle.  It is all based on The Deal.  The Deal was struck many years ago.  The Deal is mutually beneficial.  Or it is supposed to be, anyway.  The Deal is this:  I get complete control of the remote control and Jeff gets his back rubbed until he falls asleep.  For many years The Deal has worked beautifully.  Occasionally, though, one or the other of us doesn't feel like keeping up their end of The Deal.  Battle lines are drawn.  Leg locks are issued.  Armpit hair is pulled.  Wedgies are given.  Giggling ensues.  Then, eventually The Deal is upheld.  I watch the Daily Show and Jeff drifts off to lala land.

I'm not gonna lie, though.  Sometimes I'd like to be the one getting the back rub.  I can always catch Jon Stewart online the next day.  But it is all about compromise, everything is negotiable, right?  Well, everything except The Deal.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Sunday Funday

Ahhhhhhh, Sunday.  The day of rest and relaxation.  Today I spent most of the day with my Dad while my Mom ran a bunch of errands.  It was a nice, relaxing time.  We watched football together.  He sat in his recliner and I took over Mom's.  After a while, I asked him if he was cold.  And then a few minutes later he asked me if I was cold.  We both said that we weren't cold, but ended up under blankets anyway.  We talked about a couple things, and laughed about a couple more.  He was in a great mood, a little tired, but really feeling pretty good.  Once Mom got home, I made them some fettuccine alfredo for dinner.  On my way home, Mom called and said that Dad asked for seconds.

It was a nice Sunday, indeed.

Now if the Steelers pull out a win, it'll be damn near perfect :)

Veteran's Day

It is the Soldier

Father Dennis Edward O'Brien
 

It is the Soldier,
not the reporter, who has given us freedom of press.

It is the Soldier,
not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the Soldier,
not the campus organizer, who gives us freedom to demonstrate.

It is the Soldier
who salutes the flag,
who serves beneath the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag,
who allows the protester to burn the flag.

On the eve of this Veteran's Day, I would like to share my sincere gratitude and acknowledge those in my family who have served or are currently serving in our Armed Forces.  One day a year is not enough to show the respect you deserve and honor your service.

 

• For Mon Oncle Paul Demers, who served in the United States Army.  Thank you for sacrifice and service.  You are the finest example for the children of this family.

 

• For Mon Oncle Michel Demers, who served in the United States Air Force.  Thank you for your sacrifice and service.  You are one of the most honorable men I know.

 

• For Mon Oncle Daniel Demers who served in the United States Navy.  Thank you for your sacrifice and service.  (I will always remember our trip to the recruiter's office and getting Frisbees.)  You are honest and true.

• For Mon Oncle Richard Demers who serves with the United States Coast Guard.  Thank you for your sacrifice and service.  You are resilient and noble.

• For my cousin Duane Demers who served in the United States Navy.  Thank you for your sacrifice and service.  You are inspiring.

• For my favorite niece, Kristin Beasley who is currently serving in the United States Army.  Thank you for your sacrifice and service.  You are beautiful, strong and stubborn and I can't think of anyone better suited to fight for my freedoms.

When I see each of you at family functions, I think only of you as Uncle, Cousin, Niece.  Today, I remember that you are so much more than that.  When I see you next, you will get an extra hug from me.  A great big one. That one is for the Solider from the American who is grateful and proud to call you family.

To all soldiers, past, present and future:
Thank you

Caution! Full on Self Pity Party in Progress... Proceed at Your Own Risk.

 

I'm tired.  This grumbling, moaning, writhing in self pity post will reflect that, just so that you know.  I fully acknowledge that I am being a big whiny baby.  But it doesn't change that it is the way I feel today.

I have never slept well. I cycle through periods of crappy sleep working up to periods of nearly crippling (dramatic much?) insomnia.  Some nights I just want to lay in the dark and cry in frustration.  My husband leaves for work in the wee hours of the morning, so I have the whole bed in which to toss and turn and watch the clock, waiting to fall back to sleep.  Usually the witching hour for me is about 2 am.  Which, incidentally, is about when Jeff leaves for work.  I usually wait until he is pulling out of the driveway before I turn on the tv, so he doesn't know I am awake and call me crazy.  My programing of choice in those wee hours is TruTV, more specifically Forensics Files.  Except last Thursday morning, when it was Speeders.  That show is stupid.  

Occasionally, I wake up before Jeff, like I did last night.  I woke up at 12:36 am and laid staring until finally I could not take it anymore and I snuck out of bed and crept around to his nightstand to get the remote.  Then I laid still as a statue and turned on the tv, praying that it wouldn't wake him up.  He rolled over, but didn't wake up. Score!  I fell asleep sometime before he got up and then was awake after he left until almost 4.  The soundest sleep I get is when my alarm is going off.  Ergh.

I am tired of being tired.  I have tried Lunesta, meletonin, teas, Advil PM, Benadryl, and a series of other temporarily effective remedies.  I don't think anything is going to help me until someone finds the switch in my brain to turn it off.  That is what keeps me awake.  The barrage of thoughts that evolve into a stream of consciousness that has no end.  Its like that picture illusion of the staircases where you can't tell where what begins and where it ends.  One thought leads to another and then to another and it circles back around.  I know that I am not the only person that this happens to.  I can't feel sorry for them right now as I am much too busy feeling sorry for myself at the moment.

Lately it seems like every thought I have is punctuated with thoughts of my father.  And what he is going through.  And how it effects nearly every facet of life as I know it.  I often think of my brothers' wives, both of whom have lost their fathers.  And I feel selfish and terrible that I have never told either of them how sorry I am that they lost their Dads and really understood what it meant.  I feel selfish and terrible that my thoughts center around MY Dad, when if fact, he is not MY Dad.  He is my Mother's Husband, Bob Tony's Dad, Jeff, Kyra and Paula's Father in Law, our children's Grandfather (or D-dad), my Aunts and Uncles' Brother, my cousins' Uncle and countless others' Friend.  I am not so special or naive to think I am the only one effected by all of this.  

But I am the only one in my head at 2 am.  And its beginning to get on my nerves.

Things that Suck

In no particular order:

• wedgies
• falling asleep during the commercial break just before the thing you stayed up late to watch comes on
• constantly having to remind my nephew Andrew to call me AUNT Julie
• my dog's allergies
• that popcorn kernel shell that sticks to the roof of your mouth and make you gag
• doing dishes
• brain cancer
• when your normal parking spot is taken
• my chronic insomnia
• having to come up with dinner variety
• irritable bowel syndrome
• bras
• realizing there's no tp AFTER you pee
• junk mail
• breaking a nail below the nail bed
• the smell of the lake of poo at the farm down the street on a windy day
• the fact that it doesn't matter how much money you have its never enough
• aching backs
• when you get the qtip just a little too far into your ear and it makes you choke and cough
• dry feet
• having to repeat myself over and over and over and over and over and over then having Jeff say it once and "poof" its done
• grocery shopping
• push ups
• the fact that I could do this all day long...

Fathers

Obviously, I have been thinking a lot lately about my Dad.  My father is one of the greatest men I have ever met.  He is a great Dad.  Always there to lend a hand or help if we ever need anything.  Strong. Very strong. And funny! Always a smile and a joke. More profoundly to me of late, I am acutely aware that he is the other half of My Parents.  Always together, supporting each other when they support us.

Today, I went over to my parents to have breakfast.  I made pancakes for he, Mom, Maddie and myself.  It was really nice.  Then we went for a walk.  As we walked, I realized that we all slow our pace in order for Dad to keep up.  And talk about things of no consequence.  For my Dad.

My husband is a great father.  He is fiercely protective.  And stubborn.  And sometimes I feel like an outsider when he and Maddie gang up on me.  But that's a Dad and his Daughter for you.  I hope I never made my Mom feel that way.  If I did, I'm sorry.  I wish that Brittany wasn't missing out on her Dad.  Maybe she's okay with it.  But she will never be able to get back the time that she is losing.  And that devastates me.  And I miss her more than she could possibly ever know.

My brothers are pretty remarkable fathers, too.  I guess that they had a really great example.  I always knew Bob would be, though.  He was always the one that was "in charge".  He was pretty good at it, too.  But Tony surprised me.  And continues to do so.  Every time I see him with those beautiful babies.  It amazes me. 

Right now, I am listening to Jeff tuck Maddie in.  He always covers her up with the 7 blankets she keeps in her bed when she sleeps.  Then when she falls asleep she sweats like crazy and kicks the blankets off.  But he doesn't want her to be cold.  So he does it again before we go to bed.  And in the wee hours of the morning when he gets up to go to work he'll do it again. 

I guess great Fathers are always there to cover you up so you're never cold.

When I said I wanted to start blogging...

this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.  Most of you who know me well know by now that the last month or so has been pretty rough for my family.  On September 17, 2010 my father was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  In the weeks following he has undergone brain surgery to remove as much of the tumor as possible and begun chemotherapy and radiation treatments to shrink the cancer.

Perhaps I should have been more specific in my desire for blogging.  Soon after diagnosis, I began journaling through a website recommended by Georgetown University Medical Center called CaringBridge.org. The website has been a fantastic way for our family to relay information about my Dad's treatment and condition to everyone without having to make lots of phone calls or send emails.  I have found it helpful to me in a personal way, but at the same time difficult to keep my own emotional state at that particular time from influencing the tone of the posting. I have tried very hard to keep a positive note to all the posts on that site.

CaringBridge Website for Dad

Enough time has passed that I feel like I can begin blogging my own personal journey on this site.  I know that it will uncomfortable for some people to read my take on things, but my only suggestion for that is not to read it!  Contrary to the CaringBridge site, I plan on letting loose whatever emotion is prevailing at the time of post, so I would recommend caution when reading, it will probably be a very bumpy ride.

On another personal note, my heart is aching for the Bennett family, especially my very good friend, Dawn.  On Saturday, Mrs. Bennett passed away.  She was my neighbor growing up.  But I am especially heartbroken because Nana took care of Maddie (along with my Mom) when she was an infant and I went back to work.  She watched her several mornings a week until she went to preschool at age 3. Nana was there to kiss boo boos, encourage first words and steps, introduce new foods, and give lots of hugs and love to Maddie when I couldn't be there.  I will be forever grateful to her for that. I can't express in words what that meant to me. Those of you with children who find themselves going back to work know how valuable it is to know that they are well taken care of when you can't be there.  My deepest and most heartfelt condolences go out to their family.

Mrs. Helen Bennett "Nana"

Hump Day!

Happy Hump Day everyone!  This week seems like it has flown by pretty quickly.  This weekend will be busy, once again.  I thought when school started things would settle down and become boring and predictable, but that is apparently not going to happen.  This whole month has whizzed by, now that I think about it! :(

On a sad note, my Granny passed away this week.  She was a really great lady.  She was loved and she will be missed by many people.  I will always hold memories of her house for many Christmases in my childhood.  And how she always had candy in a dish in her living room. And her lawn jockey in the front yard.  And the stars on the ceiling in Uncle Dan's old bedroom.   Do you know how smells make you think of a certain person or place? Well, she always smelled really nice.  Like soap and Oil of Olay and sunshine.  Rest peacefully, Granny.

Happy Birthday Maddie!

Today is Maddie's 10th birthday! We had a wonderful day. This morning she got her favorite breakfast of bacon, eggs and chocolate chip pancakes.  Then I spent the day cleaning and cooking.  Then our families came over and we had a great dinner and cake and ice cream. It was really very nice.  I love it when we all get together. But now I am tired, so 'night world!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Squeaky Feet Cheese

Yes, you heard it right. Delicious, salty, squeak in your teeth cheese. I love it. It is as precious as diamonds in this household. Up until this day, the only time we got it was when we went to Canada.  Well, that or when we all sucker a relative that is making a trip there to buy some and smuggle it back across the border in mass quantities to be divided up according to how much your mother loves you.  Today, however, I found a gold mine in my local Weis grocery store.  I could not believe my eyes, but behold! There it was, nestled in with the feta and goat cheese. (Which, btw, was the reason I was in the fancy pants cheese section and not the processed cheese food area, where I normally hang out.) AND... wait for it... wait for it... it was ON SALE. Yes, folks. I am sure that the other people in the fancy cheese section were looking a little sideways at me wearing an idiotic grin caressing a packet of cheese. It made my day. :)

Okay! So here goes nothing!

Okay. I have been contimplating starting a blog a lot lately.  Not because I think that I am incredibly interesting or have something profound to say.  But, maybe if I just get what's on my mind out there to the universe, it will leave my head and give me some space.  Sounds silly, but its worth a shot!

Soooooooooo, yeah. This is kind of like being in a room alone with a two way mirror and you all are on the other side. HI! See me waving like a maniac?! 'Cause I am.  I just hope you  don't catch me doing anything embarrassing like picking a wedgie or something.  Would you tell me if I had a bat in the cave? 'Cause I would tell you.  Well, at least that is what I always think I'd do, but when presented with that actual scenario, I totally flake out and end up just avoiding all eye contact.  That and pray you don't breathe it out on me. Because that's gross.  So from now on, if we are having a conversation and I suddenly stop looking directly at you and step back a little, you can safely assume you have a hanger.

Wow. I hope that all my blogging doesn't desolve into boogers and potty talk. But knowing me, there is a very big chance it will. :)