Dot Dot Dot

Hello. My name is Julie, and I am an ellipsis abuser.

Ellipsis (plural ellipses; from the Greek: ἔλλειψις, élleipsis, "omission") is a mark or series of marks that usually indicate an intentional omission of a word in the original text. An ellipsis can also be used to indicate a pause in speech, an unfinished thought, or, at the end of a sentence, a trailing off into silence (aposiopesis). When placed at the end of a sentence, the ellipsis can also inspire a feeling of melancholy longing. The ellipsis calls for a slight pause in speech.

The most common form of an ellipsis is a row of three periods or full stops (...) or pre-composed triple-dot glyph (…). The usage of the em dash (—) can overlap the usage of the ellipsis.

The triple-dot punctuation mark is also called a suspension point, points of ellipsis, periods of ellipsis, or colloquially, dot-dot-dot.

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?  *Breathes Deeply * I use ellipses with regularity.  I am a wee bit of a grammar nerd and when I use the ol' dot dot dot, I can't help but cringe a little inside for it's overuse.  There! I said it! Whew... I feel much better!

...back to your regularly scheduled program.

What's in a Name?

For some reason my daughter and her friends decided recently that they would all begin calling each other by their middle names, or some variation thereof.  I am particularly fond of my daughter's name, as she is the namesake of my mother and maternal grandmother.  There was a tremendous amount of thought and research that went into naming her.  If you have ever had the daunting task of naming a child, you know that of which I speak.  We did not tell anyone what her name was going to be until she was actually born, even though we had decided months before the joyous day.  Mainly because I wanted it to be a special moment and an opportunity to pay homage to the woman that supplied me with my own name and helped shape me into who I am today.  But partly because I was nervous... what if we looked at her and she just didn't seem like a Madalyn?  What if it just didn't fit?  How you could tell what fits by looking at a red, squirmy, toothless bundle I have no idea.  But you're just supposed to know.

But does your name have a part  in shaping who you are as a person?  Would you turn out slightly different if your name were Barbara instead of Louise?  What if I screwed my kid up because I named her something that didn't fit her destiny?! Oh, so much pressure!!  What if her sixth grade teacher had a problem with a Maddie in her past and so therefore places some personal stigma on all Maddies in the future?  And what if, in the influential age of sixth grade, that causes My Maddie to have self esteem issues, or some other kind of problem?  Oh, geeze... now I've really done it...  That wouldn't have happened if her name was Elizabeth!

Then there is the issue of a name's ease of use as an adult.  It's all fun and games for a Maddie when she's 10, but what about when she's 25 and coming out of college (looking for a job while she works on a masters degree).  What kind of feelings would a future employer have about hiring an attorney named Madalyn with a "y".  Is it professional enough?  Maddie told me, during this foray into middle name usage with her friends, that she thought that in her professional life she might consider using her middle name and going by M. Cécile.  Now that sounds hoity toity to even me, her mother!

The other issue I have with names is that no one around our house gets called their actual given name.  Even the dog gets called a million different names.  I doubt that he'll ever actually learn what his name really is now.  Maddie gets call Mac, Tater, Boo Boo, Stinky Pants, Stink, Tater Biscuit Lollipop, Macaroni... the list goes on forever.  My husband calls me Lady Friend.  I won't get into what he gets called.  But why do we give nicknames to people? Sometimes they fit, but sometimes there is such a complicated back story that you never really know why you call that guy over there "Slim".  (Which fit in that particular case, by the way)

I know a lot of people out here who are pregnant or recently had a child and I would be interested to hear the names you've picked and why.  And then what you actually end up calling them after they've been here for a while...

Just as a side note for my own entertainment... in my line of work, I spend a LOT of time on the phone with insurance companies.  This involves a lot of required documentation for parties on both ends of the phone call.  When a rep asks my name for documentation purposes and they seem rude or short with me (or it's Friday and I'm in a good mood) I tell them that my name is Juliejuliefofuliefeefifofulie.  And then I spell it for them. :)

Daddy's Hands

That was the song that played during the Father/Daughter dance at my wedding.  I knew that it was going to be the song we would dance to since I was 12 years old.  I hadn't even dreamed of the man I was going to marry, how old I would be, where I would be living or what I would be doing for a living when it happened.  But I knew that was going to be The Song.  To this day every single time I hear it, I cry.  It has so much meaning to me. When I was an awkward pre-teen and couldn't put feelings into words, when I couldn't tell him that even if I didn't ask for piggy back rides anymore or hold his hand in public, I still loved my Daddy- that song said it for me.  I remember riding to the cabin on Summer Friday nights and singing along with it on the radio.

My Dad's hands could do anything in this world he wanted them to.  He built a home, made a living, raised a family giving comfort, love and discipline with those hands.  Even a years old injury that caused his right hand to be partially paralyzed didn't stop him from accomplishing amazing things with his hands. He has fixed cars, cut down trees, built decks, and installed toilets and sinks with those hands.  He built dressing tables for his grandchildren when they were born.  Those hands have held them safely and cherished them.  Those hands held mine as he walked me down the aisle to give me away on my wedding day.  We were both nervous as hell and shaking like leaves!

I recently saw my Dad's hands and I cannot shake the image from my mind.  The treatment for his brain cancer has changed them.  The tan, strong hands that I know to be my Father's are now pale and bony.  They shake when he tries to do simple tasks.  Cancer has robbed him of the ability to work with them, to keep them strong and supple.  Of all the things that he has gone through and all the changes that this cancer has caused in him, I am most profoundly affected by his hands.  I pray every day and every night that this change is merely temporary- a side effect of the chemotherapy and the medications.  I pray every day and every night that he will soon be able to return to the things that I know he longs so much to do, like work in his workshop in the shed and cut the grass.  I pray fervently that very soon, his hands will return to the hands that I remember and treasure.  I pray that the image I cannot seem to come to terms with in my mind will be a memory, and he will be vigorous and healthy again.

I pray and I hope because just as sure as I knew the song that would play during the Father/Daughter dance at my wedding, I know that it is all in God's hands.  Then I pray more.

It's Saturday Night and The Feeling's Right

There are many things that I have learned to appreciate in the last year... my health, the health of the ones that I care about, my family, my friends, a warm home and I could go on and on.  However, today is the once a month "Friend's Theme Dinner" and I have ice cream to make and pineapple to grill.

Last year, a high school classmate and friend passed away very suddenly.  It was a shock to all of us, a tragedy to be sure.  After the service, a small group of close high school friends went to lunch together.  In spite of the sad reason for the gathering, we had a great time and we all remarked that it was indeed a tragedy that it took something like the death of a friend to get us to take the time from our lives to be together.  That afternoon we vowed that we would get together with our families once a month no matter what.  Each of us would rotate hosting at our houses and everyone would bring a dish so that all the work didn't fall on the hostess.  To make it fun and interesting, we agreed that the hostess would decide the "theme" and everyone's dishes had to follow the theme.

I am so happy to report that we have maintained the monthly dinner since then, (with once small exception), and it has been a rousing success!  We have had an Italian night, a Mexican fiesta, a Summer cookout, an appetizer extravaganza and many more fun themes!  More than enjoying the wonderful food, I personally have cherished the time spent with the best of friends.  It is a delight to see our children playing together and even our husbands have begun having their own playdates together! ;)

Life has taught me many lessons these past months and I don't know what the future holds for any of us.  But I hope that we continue this tradition into our dotages.  These days I appreciate those close to me more and more, and I know that they are there to support me and help me through whatever may come.  I hope they are just as confident that I am here for them, too.

Uhhhh, the ice cream maker just stopped, so I better get on it! Have a great weekend everyone! :)

Staycation

So, this past week, I took a few days off while my bosses went to a conference in Hawaii.  I looked forward to the time off and had planned lots and lots of productive things to accomplish while at home.  But here it is, Saturday and I have only three more days before I have to go back to work, and I have accomplished almost nothing of what was on my mental to-do list. The following is a list of things I DID do in an effort to feel okay about what I did not do.

• Painted my nails
• Laundry
• Drove to Georgetown to visit my Dad while he stayed a couple of days
• Showed Maddie a little of Georgetown because of all the time I have spent there, I realized that it was her first time ever there. She said that the cathedral at G-town looked like Hogwarts when we were coming across the Key Bridge.
• Dropped off Mac at school in my pjs (when she had it!)
• Picked her up at school (when she had it)
• Went to the grocery store
• Spent some time at the MVA
• Visited Wally World
• Tweeted to make the Twerrible Towel spin
• Wore the same pajama pants for three days (I know, I know... it's gross)
• Read what seems like every blog on the internet
• Mastered some Mahjong skills
• Straightened out an issue with Delta about Mac's orthodontic claim
• Shaved my legs
• Considered coloring my hair, and even bought the color while at Wally World
• Did the dishes a ZILLION times
• Went to Nicholas' 9th Birthday party and had an excellent time with my family
• Went to church
• Adopted a wonderful new dog from the pound
• Played Bubble Buster on my Android phone 
• Did not care in the least what the weather report was
• Made a list on the fridge white board of things I need to do and/or buy for the house
• Ignored the list above
• Made the following items for my family's enjoyment:
• spaghetti sauce with meatballs
• chocolate cake
• Famous Dave's corn muffins
• big ol' pot of chili
• Auntie Anne's pretzels
• banana pudding
• cinnamon raisin bread (which didn't turn out that great)
• fresh baked white bread
• french toast

 OH MY GOODNESS! No wonder I did not accomplish anything on my staycation! Look at how busy I was!  What the heck?!  Well, I feel so much better about the whole thing now! As much as I'd love to continue chronically my amazement at the amazing things I've done this week, I really do have some things I need to do.... right after I check ICanHasCheezburger.com.

The Pittsburgh Steelers

...are going to the Super Bowl.

Thank you, that will be all.

Goodbye Sweet Tessie-Lou

Tribute to a Best Friend

Sunlight streams through window pane onto a spot on the floor.....
then I remember,

it's where you used to lie, but now you are no more.

Our feet walk down a hall of carpet, and muted echoes sound.....
then I remember,

it's where your paws would joyously abound.

A voice is heard along the road, and up beyond the hill,
then I remember,

it can't be yours..... your golden voice is still.

But I'll take that vacant spot of floor and empty muted hall,
and lay them with the absent voice and unused dish along the wall.

I'll wrap these treasured memories in a blanket of my love,
and keep them for my best friend until we meet above.

Author Unknown

Last night, we had to say goodbye to our beloved American Bulldog, Tess.  It was a million times harder than I could have ever imagined it would be.  It happened quickly and we were definitely not prepared, but it was the only decision we could make for her.  Without doing a biopsy, which would have involved an invasive endoscopy procedure under general anesthesia, we cannot be 100% certain, but all clinical indicators and her very rapid decline point to canine nasal adenocarcinoma.  Unfortunately, even if we put her through all the testing money could buy, there is nothing that could have changed the outcome.  We did not want her to suffer any longer knowing this, so we made the very difficult decision to let her go.  We were able to spend time with her and I laid on the floor with her, rubbed her soft ears, looked into her beautiful brown eyes and told her what a good, good, good girl she was and how much we would miss her.

When I first saw Tess at the Humane Society, I never imagined what an imprint she would make on our family and in our hearts.  I can not imagine how anyone could have given up this sweet, quiet, loving girl.  I am happy that we were able to give her a warm home, pets, scratches, treats and love for the last years of her life.  We will hold the memory of these years in our hearts forever.  Our home will be emptier without her.  She gave us so much more than we can ever have given her, unconditional love.  Most of all, I think I will miss going bye bye for a ride in Mommy's car.

You were a good girl Tess and we will miss you immensely.