An Open Letter to Fall Out Boy From The Mother of a Teenage Fan

I suppose that this could have been addressed to any band out there, but it isn’t.  It isn’t because she chose you. 

I’m not sure when it happens, but I suppose it happens to all teenagers and their mothers. The slow transition of introspective self isolation, when they start spending more time alone in their room, beginning the segregation of themselves from the crowd with the insertion of ear buds, the creeping feeling that the people who have nurtured them for their whole lives no longer understand them. So then we begin the awkward dance of what feels like interrogations over dinner and evasive answers because she is sure that I could never understand her. The worry on my part and the frustration on hers builds.

But I do understand her. I understand her because I remember myself what it felt like and what music meant to me when I was her age. When the pressures of growing up are drowning you and music feels like air in your lungs.  How when no one else understands and you can’t form the words to help them understand, that somehow that song, those lyrics GET it. She has connected with you, with your music, on a level that is personal and meaningful. When she isolates herself away and I look at her closed bedroom door, I can take solace in fact that you are there for her when she feels like no one else is.

You need to know that she is amazing. Beyond amazing. She is cuttingly witty and intelligent.  She is a marvelously talented classically instructed double bassist. When she is finished with her requisite scales, and measure after measure of complicated pieces, she decompresses by playing your music. She writes the notes down in a bound journal of lines that is tucked away in her case like a treasure.  She’s the kid in the orchestra pit with purple in her hair and black on black Vans.

I bought her tickets to your concert tour this summer. She didn’t ask for them because she was unsure if we would allow her to go.  It will be her first concert experience.  I bought them because I want her to know how it feels to stand in an arena with thousands of other people that feel just like her. To feel the bass in her feet, the drums thump in her chest, the sound of thousands of kids singing back the lines that she has connected with.  It is an experience that YouTube just cannot provide and it is the least I can do for her.

She is amazing. She is mighty. She is mine.

But she is also yours. You are the anthem of her youth, so Thank You.

Happy Mother's Day!

I have a wonderful Mom. She is simply amazing. She has always been there for me and has supported me, no matter what. She has taught me how to be a good wife, friend, mother and person.  I don't know what I would ever do without her!!

I love you Mom. Happy Mother's Day!

Pantoufles

Dear Dad,

We opened the cabin this weekend.  Everyone works so hard to keep it the place you loved to be.  We love to be there, too.  I feel you there.  Everywhere I look, everything my eyes touch, reminds me of you.  The kids love it there.  I hope you laugh when you hear little voices filling the place to the roof with giggles and never ending questions.  But nothing makes me think of you more, makes me miss you as profoundly as when I see your pantoufles next to your side of the bed.  I move them every time I vacuum  but make sure I  put them back exactly where you left them.  It's been two years.  And I miss you just the same.

Love,

Julie

Hello Kitty Cake

I have always loved to cook, but I really love to bake. Making more decorative cakes is something I have thought about for a while now and recently I have really been getting into it.  Today was my day off and I found myself with no plans, so I decided to try making and using marshmallow fondant for the first time.  I was just messing around, but I am very proud of how it turned out!

Random Stream of Consciousness

• Being a grown up sucks sometimes.
• Being a kid wasn't always a picnic, either, and I have to remember that when I deal with my daughter's trials and tribulations. No matter how trivial they seem to me as a grown up.
• I hate feeling used.  It makes me feel like becoming the kind of person I really don't want to be.
• Wedgie free underwear is a lie. A horrible, uncomfortable lie.
• My newest favorite scent is Bath and Body Works Twilight Woods.
• I haven't spend enough time with my girlfriends and hope to remedy that in the very near future.
• Chelsea Handler is hilarious.
• My ice maker has begun making weirdly hollow ice cubes. I know that is probably an indication that there is something wrong with it, but as a habitual ice chewer, I have secretly rejoiced in my new "soft" ice cubes.
• The new Facebook Timeline confuses the hell out of me, but I switched it over because I'd rather feel like it was my choice and not theirs.
• I hate having my picture taken.
• I have 30 pens in a cup on my desk and only use one. Just one.
• I love Vince Guaraldi.
• I have been into WalMart to buy Just Dance for the Wii three times and came out all three times without it because I got distracted and forgot.
• I signed up for Netflix and have yet to see a new movie appear in the list of new releases.
• I hate grocery shopping but somehow end up in the grocery store four times a week or more.
• I love my daughter's new haircut, but she won't let me play with it or style it for her.
• I prefer my water room temperature.
• I think that my brother and sister in law should have at least two more babies.  They make really cute kids.
• I miss my Dad and think about him all the time. Sometimes it makes me cry, but a lot of times I laugh.  
• One of my greatest fears is forgetting the sound of his voice, but I can't bring myself to watch home movies with him in them to remind me.
• The foreclosure next door to us is under contract. I want very badly to tell whoever it is that the house is a pile of moldy shit. Not only because it is the truth, but because I really like having the driveway to ourselves.
• It makes me sad that cursive writing is becoming nearly obsolete, but almost never use it and almost always print.
• I always swallow my gum. Sometimes unconsciously/unintentionally before I am ready. That irritates me because I wasn't done with that piece!
• It amuses me when people put all their dirty laundry out then complain that people are looking at their  drawers.
• Speaking of drawers, it also amuses me that my hubby sews the fly on his boxers closed himself. It is hilarious to see him sitting with my sewing kit, needle, and thread.
• I compulsively chew my cuticles and fingers, but never my nails. I wish I could stop, but have yet to find an effective deterrent.
• I think I'll to start blogging more often. The internet doesn't have quite enough crap yet.

Happy 43rd Anniversary

"Love begins in a moment, grows over time, and lasts for eternity."

I have been incredibly fortunate in my life to have borne witness to what is most likely the greatest love story of my lifetime. Today marks my parent's 43rd wedding anniversary. My parent marriage was truly the most shining example of what the partnership of matrimony should be. Two young people falling in love and nurturing that love into something that blossoms year after year, despite the storms of life.

"True love stories never end."

It has only been seven months since Dad passed away. This is the first time in 48 years that Mom has been without him. I cannot begin to imagine the heaviness of her heart on this day, of them all. But I know that the love they share is truer, stronger and more magnificent than most people could ever even dream about. That kind of love has a buoyancy that rescues a heart from sinking in sorrow.

"I will not love you for the rest of your life, but for the rest of my life."

Yes, I am indeed fortunate to have had front row seats to the greatest love story ever told. There were no epic, sweeping musical numbers, no passionate kisses among crashing waves. Just two people who stood by each other, held each other's hand and walked together through all the experiences of a lifetime.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad.

I love you.

Veteran's Day

"A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself. "

Joseph Campbell

My shoulders have carried the weight of small troubles;

Your shoulders have borne the weight of a nation.

My heart has suffered the loss of few;

Your hearts have grieved the loss of many.

My sacrifices seem small, selfish and self serving;

Your sacrifices are selfless, righteous and noble.

Without me, there is no Mother, Daughter, Sister, Wife;

Without you, there is no Freedom, Independence, Choice, Liberty.

I am humbled, indebted and awestruck,

You are deserving of reverence, honor, gratitude and appreciation.

Thank you for being Heroes.